A Urgent Message to Coaches and Parents

Dear Coaches and Parents,
Your athletes, your children are hurting.
Let’s start doing something about it now instead of waiting for the next headline of an athlete taking their life, and hoping it won’t be one of yours.
Athletes are told over and over that they have to be mentally tough.
To push through pain. To forgo sleep. To not quit.
They are reminded of how much time they have invested.
They know how much money their parents have spent over the years.
Athletes are told to be tough, both physically and mentally.
But athletes are human.
And being mentally strong on the field, doesn’t mean one mentally healthy. Just as physical strength doesn’t equate to physical health, mental strength doesn’t guarantee mental health.
You may talk about learning from failure, about how it is okay to make mistakes, but how are you showing it?
When was the last time you shared a story about your own failures? Your own mistakes?
When was the last time that you were able to separate outcome from decision? To praise the good decision that led to a bad outcome and discipline the bad decision regardless of the lucky outcome.
When was the last time that you told your tired looking athlete to go take a nap, to rest, instead of pushing through?
They know the value of pushing through, but do they know the value of quitting? Of resting?
Winners quit.
They know when to tap.
Because quitting isn’t giving up, it’s making space to move forward.
Athletes are taught how to be aware of the movement of teammates, of opponents, of the location of the ball, of their physical body. But they are not taught awareness of their emotions, of their mental state.
They are taught the importance of mindset when it comes to succeeding in sport, but not in life.
And for 93% of high school athletes, their career ends at graduation, but life goes on. Let’s prepare them for it.
Athletes are praised for mental toughness.
Which is why they struggle more than others in asking for help.
It is our job as parents, as coaches, to show through our own actions that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
Coaches, show up to practice as humans. Talk about emotions not just how they relate to the game, but to life. Lead by example of what normalizing vulnerability looks like.
Through your stories, show that vulnerability isn’t weakness.
Adults- we need to step it up. Be aware of your emotions and share them. Talk about your failures. Show up as imperfect. Start there. And then we can move onto the next step.

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About Becky

Becky Schmooke (pronounced “Smoke”) is a Mindful Leadership Consultant and Speaker, focused on providing action based mindfulness and leadership training to organizations and businesses who are ready to do things differently.

Becky’s Mindful Kitchen, is located outside of Iowa City, and provides truly unique team building and leadership retreats, strategic planning workshops, private parties and classes and weekly summer camps for kids. The commercial teaching kitchen, treehouse, archery range, bush craft skills, first aid training, wood fired pizza oven, chickens, baby goats and timber adventure playground provides endless opportunities for hands on activities.

As a mom to three girls, 60 chickens, 4 goats, 2 dogs and a fire fighter’s wife- life is never boring and provides Becky with endless stories which she uses to illustrate her approach to mindfulness in daily posts on social media.

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.

Follow For Daily Posts and Baby Goat Videos!

About Becky

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.