Knowing When To Quit

“Quitting isn’t giving up, it’s making room to move forward.” 
Knowing how to quit with confidence is key to building resilience, grit, motivation and raising self motivated kids. 
I repeatedly hear parents say that they won’t let their kids quit because they want to build resilience, teach them to stick things out, to not give up. 
But here’s the thing- if your kids don’t quit because you haven’t made that an option, then you aren’t increasing their motivation or resilience, and you are robbing them of the joy and power that comes from choosing not to quit. 
The important thing is to understand the role that ego plays in quitting. 
Ego causes us to quit things too soon out of fear of failing, of the discomfort, of the pain that accompanies new things. 
Ego also keeps us from quitting when we need to out of fear of being seen as a failure. 
So how do we find that middle ground, how do we build the confidence to know when we need to quit and when we want to keep going because it is the right thing for us, not for those around us, not for our ego and our pride? 
Well, confidence and trust go hand in hand and this exercise is a great way to build both. 
The next time your child or you want to quit something new- be it a new sport, new job, new activity, OR a new level within an existing job/activity, make a deal with yourself/child to stick it out for a specific amount of time. Maybe it’s 2 more weeks of practice, or for me today, it was 2 hill repeats, and then after that, allow the option to quit to be there. 
And the option to quit cannot be accessorized with shame, guilt, judgment. It needs to exist as a supported option. Trust is built in the follow through, so if you try to trick yourself or kid with then adding another week, or in my case, finishing that second hill repeat and saying, ‘oh nevermind, one more and then you can quit’- you erode trust and confidence. 
By doing this, you force yourself to get comfy in the discomfort, to experience the ‘hard’ and understand what you are capable of. And then, should you decide to move forward, you do so with confidence, with motivation and drive to do it because you want to, not because you have to. 
Does this apply to all things? No, I’m not saying to allow your kid to do 2 more weeks of school. But use it for the things that you can.
Winners know how to quit, because they know how to do hard things. 
And sometimes quitting is the hardest thing of all. 

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About Becky

Becky Schmooke (pronounced “Smoke”) is a Mindful Leadership Consultant and Speaker, focused on providing action based mindfulness and leadership training to organizations and businesses who are ready to do things differently.

Becky’s Mindful Kitchen, is located outside of Iowa City, and provides truly unique team building and leadership retreats, strategic planning workshops, private parties and classes and weekly summer camps for kids. The commercial teaching kitchen, treehouse, archery range, bush craft skills, first aid training, wood fired pizza oven, chickens, baby goats and timber adventure playground provides endless opportunities for hands on activities.

As a mom to three girls, 60 chickens, 4 goats, 2 dogs and a fire fighter’s wife- life is never boring and provides Becky with endless stories which she uses to illustrate her approach to mindfulness in daily posts on social media.

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.

Follow For Daily Posts and Baby Goat Videos!

About Becky

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.