Meeting Our Emotions With Curiosity

I felt myself getting pissed off.
Part of me wanted to take the anger and run with it.
The Stoic in me won out.
Not because it caused me to shove down my emotions. That’s not what Stoicism teaches.
It won out because I got curious instead of angry.
I called Finn over and told her I needed a hug and to talk about my day.
(Remember- storytelling is the best way to teach kids about emotions and mental health).
I explained how today was tough, one thing after another didn’t go as planned and was just more difficult than it needed to be.
I told her how I worked hard to not get upset or frustrated and how each of the difficult moments were the result of something to be grateful for.
I then told her about the message I had just gotten from someone who had canceled an event last minute for a reason I totally understood, and while they promised to reschedule, and I held a date for them, they just decided to not have their event here after all.
I don’t require deposits because I trust that people will respect the agreement. I also provide when requested private tours before someone books so they know for sure this is what they wanted. I did that in this situation.
I explained to Finn that I started to get mad, because other people wanted both their time slots but I turned them away and therefore lost out on money twice. Plus I had prepared for their party the first time and that was time I don’t get back.
I admitted that I wanted to send a strongly worded email to the person.
But when I felt my anger, I knew I needed to stop and question it.
I got curious about my anger and if it was warranted.
I reminded myself that I had just had a long day. And not much sleep last night. So I probably was responding not as the person I am when I’m not in this state of exhaustion.
I reminded myself that this was yet another difficult moment brought on by something I am grateful for- having a business.
I recognized that it’s my decision to not require a deposit or payment in advance and if I don’t want to have this situation happen, it’s on me, not others to fix it.
Finn looked up and asked me if I was going to fix it.
I slowly shook my head no.
Not yet. I built BMK on the belief in the good of humanity, on community and relationships built over close to 10 years. BMK has the ability to become so much more, grow that much bigger, because I choose to do things differently. To trust in people, respect people and put people above profit.
Finn thanked me for my TED talk and then before squirreling away, wrapped her arms around me and said, “Here mom, this can be the picture for your post, that way one thing can be easy today.”
When you feel anger, train the reflex of curiosity. It will save you from wasting so much time.
And parents- share your day and struggles with your kids in a way that demonstrates how you worked through emotions and failure. Tell them stories. That is how we teach them not to be perfect but to be human.

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About Becky

Becky Schmooke (pronounced “Smoke”) is a Mindful Leadership Consultant and Speaker, focused on providing action based mindfulness and leadership training to organizations and businesses who are ready to do things differently.

Becky’s Mindful Kitchen, is located outside of Iowa City, and provides truly unique team building and leadership retreats,  strategic planning workshops, private parties and classes and weekly summer camps for kids. The commercial teaching kitchen, treehouse, archery range, bush craft skills, first aid training, wood fired pizza oven, chickens, baby goats and timber adventure playground provides endless opportunities for hands on activities.

 

Contact Becky

As a mom to three girls, 60 chickens, 4 goats, 2 dogs and a fire fighter’s wife- life is never boring and provides Becky with endless stories which she uses to illustrate her approach to mindfulness in daily posts on social media.  

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.  

Follow For Daily Posts and Baby Goat Videos!

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Instagram

About Becky

Becky Schmooke (pronounced “Smoke”) is a Mindful Leadership Consultant and Speaker, focused on providing action based mindfulness and leadership training to organizations and businesses who are ready to do things differently.

Becky’s Mindful Kitchen, is located outside of Iowa City, and provides truly unique team building and leadership retreats,  strategic planning workshops, private parties and classes and weekly summer camps for kids. The commercial teaching kitchen, treehouse, archery range, bush craft skills, first aid training, wood fired pizza oven, chickens, baby goats and timber adventure playground provides endless opportunities for hands on activities.

 

Contact Becky

As a mom to three girls, 60 chickens, 4 goats, 2 dogs and a fire fighter’s wife- life is never boring and provides Becky with endless stories which she uses to illustrate her approach to mindfulness in daily posts on social media.  

In all that she does, Becky has one goal, to build confidence in others to take action to live their best life, not just pass time.  

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